You are here

why Americans are fat, part XXXVIII

Stumbled across this on the web today. Discussion over at Slashdot about the role of high-fructose corn syrup in obesity; someone mentioned that with all the sugar in hamburger buns, "you might as well be eating your hamburger in the middle of a donut sliced in half." Chuckle chuckle.

Then someone pointed out this, from the Sauget, Illinois "Gateway Grizzlies" minor-league baseball team:

The burger, which was debuted at the Grizzlies' December 10th sale, consists of a thick and juicy burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut.

(It might be noteworthy that Sauget was founded as a Monsanto company town, and thus has a long history of poisoning people.)

It reminds me of the "Good Morning Burger" from an old episode of The Simpsons: "We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger."

Ho, ho, ho. We'd never see anything like that in real life, right?

How about Hardee's "Monster Thickburger"? Two-thirds of a pound of beef, three slices of cheese, four strips of bacon, smothered in mayonnaise and served on a buttered bun. Besides having twice the recommended daily allowance of saturated fat, and almost a full day's allowance fof salt, it's got 1,420 kcal; add the typical fast-food accoutrements of medium fries (520 kcal) and soda (400 kcal) and you've got 2,340 kcal. According to this site, a moderately-active guy my size burns about 2,121 kcal a day; so if I ate just one of these (with fries and soda) every day and nothing else (fat chance!), I'd gain weight.

(Should I mention the number of people starving around the world right now?)

I want to be sympathetic and compassionate to people with weight problems. I've carried a few extra pounds in my time. But there's a limit. Anyone who chooses to eat things like the very least their health insurance premiums should quadruple. Just get yourself an IV of bacon grease and save yourself the trouble of chewing, eh?


Add new comment

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.
This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Enter the characters shown in the image.

User login

To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.